"No Charges Were Filed" (Conclusion to Contest)

I'd like to thank everyone for their patience in waiting for the official announcement of who the winners are for the "Milesstones Worth a Hundred Grand " contest that celebrated 100,000 visitors milestone (this number does not include blog feeds or AOL's Alerts), and in celebrating blogging here for a terrific three years.

The delay was caused by a slight change in how the winners were selected...

Mini-Dee wanted to select a winner by number, so did Dee Jr. So they each selected a number and then opted for "up" or "down."

Mini-Dee selected "up" (meaning counting the entries from the bottom up) and the number five. LisazArt is our first winner with this entry:

" ... but the LPD did request Mrs. Stanziano crochet up the entire squad coffee cozies with matching hats. "There's only one thing worse than a cold cup of coffee," the Chief stated, "and that is when you find your partner drinking your coffee because the cups look alike!" Mrs. Stanziano said she'd crochet up the hats to show her appreciation, but it will be the children who would create the cozies -- with the green yarn and the Barbie knitter. The children happily agreed and darted back into the stash for more yarn. A second search for them is currently underway."

Dee Jr. decided on "down" and chose the number six. This means Haleyzim2 won with this entry:

"No charges were filed however, Mrs. Stanziano was required to provide a formal statement as to how she came to be in possession of Susan Bates' headless body. The authorities were then able to obtain a full confession from the Bates company and MiniDee finally received her replacement hook. Mrs. Stanziano was also required to show proper registration for all the Gray dogs found kenneled throughout the stash. The officers were pleased with the working conditions of the dogs and reported that each was in excellent health. In addition, several pair of knitting needles were confiscated and Mrs. Stanziano was advised to steer clear of such tools which "can be dangerous in untrained hands." Mrs. Stanziano's knitting projects were released into the custody of Mini Dee who also promised to make sure Mom keeps knitting to a bare minimum."

The holdup in this announcement was caused by the delay in picking the third winner. Mr. Dee decided he didn't want to pick a number, up or down, but rather judge by the "laugh-o-meter." Since he worked two difficult weeks at work he was too exhausted to immediately set to judging. So a wait was deemed necessary.

This morning (with a little pressure of being poked with crochet hooks) he sat down and read each entry. As he did so I was in the other room listening -- you all had him in stitches! He selected the final winner based upon how much he laughed, and wants you all to know how much he appreciated your comic entries. So, without further ado, our final winner, judged as the funniest entry, is ellgormley:

"No charges were filed, however, the Mother was asked to have an evaluation for "Yarn Acquisition Syndrome" and complete a 12-step program. In addition, the Mother will have to complete 300 hours of community service untangling yarn balls at the local preschools, thus serving children and the crafting community simultaneously. In addition, the Mother will have to volunteer with the Fire Department's "Heavy Rescue" team, teaching them to crochet lassos to be used in future rescues. The children, though unharmed, will be monitored closely for Post-traumatic stress by an Art-Therapist who will utilize yarn projects in their care. Anyone who wishes to aid the children, should send skeins of green yarn to the above address."

I will need the three aforementioned winners to contact me with their mailing addresses so prizes can be awarded.

Thank you everyone for a great contest!

Tags: crochet contest, winners