Thursday, December 28, 2006

Milestones Worth a Hundred Grand?

What a fantastic milestone here at the CrochetingWithDee blog -- 100,000 visitors ... and in a little over three weeks from now it will also be the three year anniversary since my first blog entry!  How exciting!

My first thought was to have a contest that offered a bag containing $100,000 (bar) as a prize; but I haven't had luck locating any locally, and also, that gag has already been played by a radio station.

So I gave it some thought and decided items like yarn, patterns, and gift certificates would make for better prizes that reflect more about what my blog is about: crochet!

So here are the rules:

1.  Contest runs from today until January 15, 2007, Midnight Eastern Time.
2.  A total of three prizes will be awarded via a drawing.  Winners will be announced on January 16, 2007.
3.  To participate:  Read the fictitious news article I
featured in my blog awhile ago and come up with an ending for it.  Clean language is a must.  You may enter as many times as you'd like by:
     A.  Leaving your ending here as a comment with a valid email address
     B.  Or emailing me your ending and I will add it here for you.
4.  If no valid email address is available for entrant another name will be drawn.  This means if you're an AIM user so you can leave comments in AOL journals/blogs, I will need a valid email address from you.
5.  Prizes are not exchangeable and may not be redeemed for cash. 
6.  Contest is no way related to the makers of the $100,000 chocolate bar, but if I find one, I promise to eat one in honor of this fantastic milestone!  Thanks readers!


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Anonymous said...

No charges will be filed, but the LPD did request that other local folks with vast yarn stashes be very careful before sending your children alone into them. Sgt. Hooker was quoted as saying, "Please be sure to accompany your children when allowing them to wander into your yarn stashes. Be sure to take a supply of rations with you, for safety's sake.  It may even be wise to drop stitch markers behind yourselves, just to ensure that you can find your way out of this untamed wilderness. It would be a tragedy to lose a loved one for a number of years until they were able to crochet or knit their way out. Yes, the end result would be a wonderful array of colorful and original sweaters, afghans, hats, mittens, etc., but the toll on the worried family members would be great. I have known husbands to remarry while their wives were lost in their stashes. The women emerge well stocked with finished product, the husband is quite shocked, thinking his first wife left him for the sake of her stash. The first wife is miffed and a fight usually ensues between the first and second wives as to who's yarn is who's. Tangled yarns and threads of all colors all knotted up, hooks and needles of all colors and sizes strewn from one end of the property to another. Such a waste. Such a sad waste; it's not a pretty sight at all."
   Sgt. Hooker also went on to say that the LPD would be taking donations of finished items made from the local stashes to give to the community hospital and shelters. "Put your stashes to good use, folks. Avoid a tragedy in your family and give a smile to someone less fortunate."

Anonymous said...

No charges were filed, however, the Mother was asked to have an evaluation for "Yarn Acquisition Syndrome" and complete a 12-step program.  In addition, the Mother will have to complete 300 hours of community service untangling yarn balls at the local preschools, thus serving children and the crafting community simultaneously.  In addition, the Mother will have to volunteer with the Fire Department's "Heavy Rescue" team, teaching them to crochet lassos to be used in future rescues.  The children, though unharmed, will be monitored closely for Post-traumatic stress by an Art-Therapist who will utilize yarn projects in their care.  Anyone who wishes to aid the children, should send skeins of green yarn to the above address.  

Anonymous said...

Email Entry from Sandyfroglegs:

No Charges will be filed, but the LPC did request that the local authority’s monitor Mrs. Stanziano, in the event that there is a shortage of yarn at any of the yarn shops she frequents.

In this event, a visit might be arraigned so that those who are in serious withdrawal due to not being able to have contact with their beloved yarn, might visit Dee Stanziano’s stash and pacify themselves long enough for their yarn shop to receive it’s next shipment.

Anonymous said...

No charges will be filed, but the LPD did request that the new LED powered signs, "Caution: yarn ahead" be posted at every 3-4 feet of yarn stash.  These new signs will be mandatory in 2009 to prevent people from becoming lost in their own or other's yarn stashes. Mrs Stanziano quickly agreed to those terms.

The led signs were made by a group of spouses of confirmed yarnaholics.  In 2011, the new regulations state that a "you are here" LED display will have to be posted every 10 feet of yarn stash. This sign will be programmable so the stash owner must update what yarn is located in what vicinity. After all, the yarnaholic may use the entire stash of the blue Caron "Simply Soft" yarn and replace it with  Lion Brand's  charcoal "Woolease". This would cause more confusion for the folks lost in the stash.

The Stanzianos were last seen heading towards what appeared to be a yarn shop, probably to pick up the signs

Anonymous said...

Email entry from LisazArt:

" ... but the LPD did request Mrs. Stanziano crochet up the entire squad coffee cozies with matching hats.  "There's only one thing worse than a cold cup of coffee," the Chief stated, "and that is when you find your partner drinking your coffee because the cups look alike!"  

Mrs. Stanziano said she'd crochet up the hats to show her appreciation, but it will be the children who would create the cozies -- with the green yarn and the Barbie knitter.  The children happily agreed and darted back into the stash for more yarn.  A second search for them is currently underway."

Anonymous said...

Email entry from Evelyn R.

"but the LPD did request that others be informed of the hazards of second-hand stashing.  Mrs. Stanziano was warned to keep warning signs posted and alarms in operating order.  The family has reportedly engaged the services of 2 bloodhounds in case of further incidents."

Anonymous said...

Email entry from Julie K.

"No charges will be filed, but th eLPD did request Mrs. Stanziano do either 100 hours of community service or crochet afghans, scarves and mittens for the police department.
A source close to the family said, "Mrs. Stanziano was pleased to crochet for the police department, but her husband was shocked to find out that she had to go and buy more yarn to complete the projects." "

Anonymous said...

Email entry from Nana C.

"No charges will be filed, but the LPD did request that Mrs. Stanziano follow city building code regulations and clear a path through her stash.  The city code enforcement officer will follow up with the Stanzianos to ensure compliance."

Anonymous said...

No charges were filed however, Mrs. Stanziano was required to provide a formal statement as to how she came to be in possession of Susan Bates' headless body.  The authorities were then able to obtain a full confession from the Bates company and MiniDee finally received her replacement hook.  

Mrs. Stanziano was also required to show proper registration for all the Gray dogs found kenneled throughout the stash.  The officers were pleased with the working conditions of the dogs and reported that each was in excellent health.

In addition, several pair of knitting needles were confiscated and Mrs. Stanziano was advised to steer clear of such tools which "can be dangerous in untrained hands."  Mrs. Stanziano's knitting projects were released into the custody of Mini Dee who also promised to make sure Mom keeps knitting to a bare minimum.  

Thanks for 3 AWESOME Years!!!  Looking forward to all future entries!  Love to all, Haley (you have my email, right?)

Anonymous said...

Email entry from pache005:

No charges will be filed, but the LPD requested that Mrs. Stanzanio keep beside each bin a locater for her children so if this happens again the searchers and Air National Guard helicopters can easily locate them before anything bad happens, or they get lost amongst the fibers not wanting to come out.

Anonymous said...

Email entry from Cheryl S.:

No charges will be filed but the LPD did request that each member of the household be required to have the following when within 20 feet of the perimeter of said yarn stash.  Each person shall wear a specially-designed bracelet embedded with a tracking device and homing signal.  Constant monitoring via walkie-talkies shall be established prior to, and for the duration of, any foray into the fiber jungle.    

Anonymous said...

No charges will be filed, but the LPD did request that she crochet new seat covers for their patrol cars, and several officers were heard to ask her for a private session to explain the mysteries of Tunisian, Filet Crochet and Celtic. One sargent said that the department could use several more of the lassos as well, since the problem appeared to be spreading outward from a number of craft stores in the area. The chief was heard to mutter about a possible solution to several long-standing missing persons cases where the only clue was an open pattern book beside the missing one's last-known location.

Anonymous said...

Email entry from jd in st.louis:

the home be checked by the local fire department for any evidence of yarn poisoning.  several cases of lego poisoning had been noted in nearby homes.  symptoms of yarn poisoning include severe urges to purchase more yarn, patterns, hooks, and thread, severe allergies to housework in any form, and an overwhelming urge to sit for hours at a time working one's hands with a small hook.  Authorities are unsure at this time if this family suffers from any form of yarn poisoning, but counselors have been made available to the family and to the children's classmates in the event that other families may suffer any signs of yarn poisoning or overdose.  Please call the LPD if you or anyone you know suffers from any of the symptoms described above.  A special hotline has been established for this purpose.  Call 927-668-73673 ( YAR.NOV.RDOSE) if you have any information to report.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations Dee,
I enjoy this site very much, I recently purchased the Crochet-A-Day  Calendar 2007, and I was very surprised that it contained a whole lot of your patterns in it. I recognized them from your blog.......nice work